My love for hypnobirthing was born from a not so positive birth experience with my first pregnancy. My birth plan literally said “Go with the flow”. I thought I was prepared; I had attended the two antenatal classes provided by the NHS (one which focused on stages of labour and the other which focussed on breastfeeding). I went into spontaneous labour at 39 weeks and 6 days. I struggled to cope with the intensity of my contractions and as they increased I felt more and more out of control. On arrival at hospital I was examined to see if I could be admitted to the labour ward and found I was 4cm dilated. When I was admitted to the labour ward I instantly ended up lying on a bed with a wired CTG monitor on me. Pain relief options were discussed and I asked for everything. I had diamorphine and gas and air. I laboured on my back and felt very “out of it”. Once I was 10cm dilated I was encouraged to push.
My body wasn’t pushing by itself and I was forcing myself to try and push my baby out. I was utterly exhausted and felt in so much pain. In the end I vaguely remember options being discussed about how best to proceed. At that stage I did not care, I just wanted it to be over. I ended up consenting to a ventouse delivery (which required me to get a catheter in and an episiotomy). The first attempt to help baby out using the ventouse method failed and I still remember the pain I felt. The second attempt was successful and my little boy arrived (on his due date!). Of course I was delighted but I was absolutely exhausted and in a lot of pain. My husband was my birth partner and afterwards said he felt “out of control and useless” during our time in hospital. I found the whole experience negative and dreaded the thought of potentially going through it all again in the future.
2 and a half years later we were delighted to find out we were pregnant. This time around I was absolutely determined to have a positive birthing experience. I read voraciously, determined to better understand the birth process. I flooded my mind with positive birth stories, completed antenatal and hypnobirthing courses, practised breathing and relaxation techniques and listened to affirmations daily. I encouraged my husband to get involved and helped him to understand what a vital role he had as my birth partner. When I told him about hypnobirthing he definitely was dubious and I’m pretty confident he thought it was all hippy dippy nonsense. Heather did a 1-1 session with us and by the end of it, he was on board and could see how much it made sense. I then made the decision that I wanted a home birth as I knew it would reduce my chances of any interventions. I only shared my preferences with immediate family and told them that I didn’t want any feedback on my choice (unless it was positive!) as I refused to allow any negative thoughts to enter my mind.
I made a very detailed birth plan, outlining my preferences and my husband was fully aware so that he could advocate for me, if required, whilst I was in the zone during labour. As my due date neared, midwives were talking about induction (a topic I politely shut down quickly), but I waited patiently and knew my baby would come when they were ready. At 41+1 I woke through the night to cramps that would come and go. I knew the best thing to do was rest so just went back to sleep. In the morning I was confident they were contractions and let my husband know that today might be the day we met our baby. We got our eldest off to nursery and then I phoned triage who said they would let the home birth team know. I continued to experience contractions which I managed with standing, swaying, focused breathing, a wave comb and listening to our wedding playlist. I also popped a tens machine on which I really enjoyed, especially at the peak of contractions.
The midwives arrived and respected my wishes to be left alone. Occasionally they would pop in and use a doppler to monitor baby’s heart rate. My husband had set up our front room with twinkly lights, cosy blankets, tea light candles and a birthing pool. The only position I found comfortable was standing and swaying, which was great as it was working with my body to help baby move down. Around 2.35pm I was feeling intense pressure in my bum. Even though I knew this was probably the baby making their way down, I went to the bathroom in case I needed the toilet. As soon as I sat down I felt an incredible pressure and for the first time, I screamed! At that point the midwives burst into my tiny downstairs toilet to me yelling “Is it a poo or a baby!?”.
The midwives ushered me out of the toilet as they told me “You better move as you’re about to have your baby on the toilet!”. I knelt down against my couch and felt an intense, involuntary, bearing down. I remember saying “I’ve lost it, I’ve lost it”; I was clearly in transition! My husband handed me my wave comb and I waited until my body was ready to deliver my baby. I got my breathing back under control and before I knew it my baby’s head had been born, quickly followed with the rest of his body. The time from going to the toilet to baby being born was less than 10 minutes! My husband couldn’t believe we were already at the actual delivery stage as I appeared to be coping so well.
I was on cloud 9! The midwives gathered their things and I stayed snuggling on my couch with my lovely wee baby boy. My husband made me a cuppa and some toast which was amazing. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. The whole experience was night and day in comparison to my first birth. We ended the evening with a chippy tea, watching some TV and soaking up all the newborn cuddles.
It was the most wonderful experience and I don’t believe it would have been anywhere near as positive if I hadn’t informed myself to the level I did or practiced hypnobirthing. Hypnobirthing genuinely changed my life (and continues too!) and I would love other women to experience similarly amazing births.
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